Angry Okie
Angry Okie appears in the ''The Raunch and the Righteous''. He is head of R.A.U.N.C.H. - Religious Association of Unified National Church Hellrasiers, a faith-based organization that acts as a whistle-blower and has a team of private investigators that monitor Pious fraud and corruption. Okie is a stereotypical lower-middle class redneck who made money in the Bible Belt of America preaching Anglo-Saxon Christianity through what many perceive as unconscious racism. He gets angry when people don't agree with his views and brags about knowing people in the FBI. He is rumored to be related to assCram and Sam Rogers. __TOC__ Dust Bowl Days Albert Okie spent his youth drinking cheap booze, smoking cheap cigars and racing with his buddy Larry. Around age 30, he began his religious career in Dryland, Oklahoma as a tractor driver in a sweet corn field. After ingesting enough alcohol to clean venetian blinds for an entire neighborhood, Albert claims that God spoke to him through a pregnant donkey named Mary. According to Albert, the donkey told Albert that her calf was the saviour and she was the virgin Mary. After Mary gave birth, Albert's wife sold the mother and calf to a petting zoo. Albert was so angry, he locked his wife in the storm cellar. She escaped the cellar, because he was too drunk to make certain it was locked. With his Virgin Mary donkey and calf gone, Albert began baptizing his congregation members during Mud Pit Belly Flop contests. Perversion to Religion According to his friends, Albert preached best when he was drunk. After a few cold beers, Albert was drunk with the spirit of starch and the fermentation of sugar thereof. Former members of Albert's congregation claim he once snorted cocaine off of a mash barrel before having sex with a raccoon, which he claims he mistook for a red panda, so no harm done. President of R.A.U.N.C.H. Albert joined the Religious Association of Unified National Church Hellrasiers after he'd been kicked out of his church for zoophilia, pedophilia and voyeurism. He served as a private investigator who gathered information on allegedly corrupted religious leaders to be used in cases to slander them bring them to justice. Albert earned a reputation for getting angry whenever someone questioned his religious beliefs. He eventually made his way up to the position of president of the organization after gathering information on the former president who was apparently into lactophilia after reportedly drinking breast milk from several pregnant church members. Albert claims he has given up his lustful ways. However, this claim is questionable since he owns a giant stuffed toy raccoon he calls "Bay-Lee Jo". Rumor has it Albert can be seen at night with Baylee knocking over trash cans looking for cans and bottles to recycle. ''The Raunch and the Righteous'' Years later, Okie divorces his wife Hilda and moves to Cankerton, New Jersey where he opens another branch of R.A.U.N.C.H. He is reunited with his old friend Linz Mondello and asks Linz to help him bring down Fale County's most popular evangelist, the Masked Bastard. Okie believes that Linzy will do anything for money, since Linzy has debts to pay. But Okie discovers that double-crossing Mondello and messing with his Church family isn't very wise. Okie drives a gold custom sport-van that he secretly drag races. After being exposed as a "kiddie diddler", Albert Okie is arrested for running a massive child pornography ring. He is sent to a maximum security prison and is never seen or heard from again. Rumors suggest that he died of a heart attack while incarcerated. Others say that he was gang banged in the prison shower and then stabbed multiple times. Either way it went down, justice served. Category:Bishops of Bastard characters